“You can never morph into Don Draper. Don Draper is the way he is because handsome actor Jon Hamm expertly delivers lines written by a team of Emmy-winning writers. You can wrap the skinniest tie in the Chess King inventory around your buffalo hump and you’re still not going to look cool. Even if you’re a handsome, suave dude it won’t work, because you don’t live in 1962. Your context sucks. Don Draper does not request extra corn salsa for his Chipotle burrito. Don Draper does not preorder Fallout: New Vegas. He doesn’t text or play Farmville or tweet about his dreams. Can you imagine Don Draper at Walmart? He would be puking blood trying to think up a way to make Sam’s Choice sandwich cookies into a metaphor for growing up, because our world is tacky, temporary, and horrid. Don’t try to force it with cufflinks, you’re just going to drag them in the ketchup.”

— Zack Parsons, You Are Not a Mad Man